Is Anger bad?
Updated: Jun 19, 2019
Anger is not a ‘bad’ emotion. It is necessary and just as important as our other emotions.
We are often led to believe that anger is in fact ‘bad’ because it doesn’t always feel ‘pleasant’ for us to experience. Anger is part of being human, but it is our relationship with and response to it that has an impact on us. Feeling angry inside is definitely something that I have always felt a lot of shame towards and I have almost wanted to pretend that it didn't exist for me. But it does, but I am still learning to accept that it is okay to feel angry.
It is important to recognise that anger is not something that we need to push away or pretend is not there. Just like all of our emotions, it was designed to help us and no emotion is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. For example, anger can help us to understand when others may be taking advantage of us or hurting us. This may provide us with the motivation to stick up for ourselves, create change, or ensure that we are not being disrespected or mistreated in our relationships.
It is okay to feel angry.
However, we may notice signs that our anger is too extreme for us to cope with at times. For example, if we can’t deal with our anger in a helpful way, a pattern of dealing with our anger in a destructive way may develop. This could include being verbally or physically abusive to others. Anger can also be turned inwards on ourselves, for example, we may self-harm or consistenly write ourselves off as worthless because we just can't cope. We may even deny ourselves things that could bring us happiness.
If you recognise that your relationship with anger is impacting your mental health and other areas of your life, support is out there for you. Many people can improve their relationship with anger and find new ways of dealing with it.
Ignoring our emotions will not make them go away- they often scream louder to make sure we hear them.